Fear of Marriage

by Bill Pierson

More marriages are performed in June then any other month. Yet, today, only 55% of adult Americans are married. That is the lowest in history and the number is declining. There is a national attitude toward marriage that has infected the young adults of this country and more than any other generation before them, they are choosing not to marry, to delay marriage or to enter a relationship that does not entail commitment or children.

This is solely because of the fears and negative thought patterns that have been communicated to them through the media, society and parents. It is a raging social trend that over four million couples in America today are choosing to live together outside of marriage. Those who live together believe that cohabitation is a safe way to work toward a closer relationship and when they marry later they can sidestep many of the problems others experience. However, most of these relationships are beset with lack of commitment and a loving intimacy.

Marriage is an institution invented and ordained by God. Therefore, only God has the key to its success. Understanding and acknowledging this point is the major issue to making marriage work and also understanding why so many marriages fail today. When marriage is removed from a sacred, Biblical perspective and it is viewed from a secular, social position, we have stripped it of its life force and potential.

From the beginning of creation, when God made the first couple, Adam and Eve, He had a perfect design for marriage, but outside influences and the inherent weaknesses of men and women destroyed that perfect marriage just as these things are doing today. By driving Adam and Eve from the Garden He made us responsible for making a marriage but He provided a guide for attaining it, the Bible. The teachings of the Bible are as applicable today as they have been for thousands of years just as human weaknesses have not changed in thousands of years.

Regardless of how much or how often the world around us changes, we can take comfort in the fact that God never changes. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

The statistics of failing marriages do not mean that marriages no longer work, but it demonstrates the lack of solid foundations for those marriages. It is no coincidence that today's society, which has in large part, rejected the Word of God, has such difficulty with marriage. If we reject God's guidance and his plan, we cannot make marriages work, for marriages only work when we do them God's way.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on a rock.

The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Matthew 7:24-27

In order for a couple to "build their marriage on a rock" they must both recognize that the commitment they make will be more important than any other human relationship. The only relationship more important is the couple's relationship with Jesus Christ. Marriage requires both work and commitment. It only works when you work at it and requires a commitment of body, soul and spirit.

A famous man once said, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself." This is true regarding the fear of marriage. When a couple is adequately prepared for marriage, the fear of marriage has no meaning. Preparation in all aspects of a Christian marriage can be obtained through church ministries. They offer a way to succeed in marriage with little fear of failure.